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Domestic violence is any emotional, physical or sexual abuse by a household member, often by a partner. Rather than being an isolated event, domestic violence tends to recur and to increase in severity over time. Without intervention domestic violence will continue.

Victims of domestic violence often must wrestle with feelings of fear, loyalty, guilt and shame. Their children live in fear and are at high risk of becoming abusive adults and/or victims themselves. Because victims are often socially and geographically isolated, as well as financially dependent, many victims live out their lives in fear, unaware that help is available.

Today, as more and more communities are responding to the needs of these victims, more and more victims are reaching out. Many communities now have shelters where victims and their children can go to escape the violence, vocational programs to provide victims with the skills to make it on their own, and concerned persons ready to help with emotional support and understanding. In Washington State, the Domestic Violence Hotline brings victims and these services together.
 

CHARACTERISTICS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

CHARACTERISTICS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

MYTH: Domestic violence only happens to poor people or minorities.
REALITY: Abuse can happen in any household, regardless of race, economic background or educational level.

MYTH: The victim "makes the partner hit them" by "getting in their face." They "ask for it."
REALITY: Every relationship has arguments and stress, but most people don't hit others when they get angry. An abuser has limited skills to deal with stress.

MYTH: The victim actually enjoys the attention, needs the violence or is a perpetual victim.
REALITY: Victims do not want to be hit. The abuser's violence is their own responsibility.

MYTH: The abuser is a sick or crazy monster, angry all the time.
REALITY: An abuser can be passive, a "nice person" generous to others and sensitive. Anyone could be an abuser.

MYTH: Alcohol or a bad marriage is the cause of violence.
REALITY: Most abusers hit whether drunk or sober. Alcohol/substance abuse can reduce the ability to control behavior.